It seems almost once a week, someone, I know has either had a love one pass on or been affected with a life threatening disease. It is such a reminder for me to BE grateful, BE in the moment BEcause life is short. With the sudden passing of Whitney Houston, it has been a powerful reminder world wide that grief touches all of us at some point or another and can we ever be prepared ? After my fathers passing, I found myself trying to prepare myself for my aging mother and golden retreiver’s eventual passing, yet I realized I was only taking away my joy for the time I still have with them.
There is no easy way to get thru the loss of a loved one. Grief can be grueling, messy and does not come tied up in a pretty box with a nice red bow. The grief process, explained by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, is a five stage process: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness and finally acceptance. That’s how we grieve and that is how we accept . Although this process looks tidy on paper, it is messy in real life. Grieving can be very confusing, we can try to convince ourselves its over and to get on with our life, when really we still have all sorts of confusing feelings. We need to give ourselves time to feel and heal and get to a place of acceptance. This can take time and sometimes we flounder between the different feelings and emotions for quite some time before we get to acceptance and a new found peace. Give yourself permission to heal on your terms. This is a gift of self love and a very important part of the grieving process.
The following poem was sent to me recently from a past client. His gift for writing poetry had been re-kindled when he was exploring what brought him joy. As you will see, Trevor is very gifted. He is still in the process of accepting his gifts and has given me permission to share his talent. I loved the simplicity of this poem, yet so rich!
In these times of change and uncertainty, it helped me to be ever so appreciative of life and all its wonder and gifts that we may often take for granted.
Trevor shares;
“ Been to too many funerals the past month and just got me thinking about life and what it all entails. I woke up the other morning and had this on my mind so I jotted it down. Hope you enjoy it.”
What is life?
Life is green grass and a hot sunny day.
It is puppies, and kittens and children at play.
It’s friends and it’s family
It’s handshakes and hugs
It’s the wind in your face and it is ladybugs.
It’s a sunrise, a sunset, a bright starlit night,
It’s saying I’m sorry right after a fight.
It’s a rainbow, a blue sky, its clouds and its rain.
It is smiles and laughter, it’s tears, and it’s pain.
It’s a loved one’s last words and a baby’s first breath
Life is a beginning, and it is also death.
It is about mourning and about a long cry
Life is about knowing and questioning why?
Life is a feeling that’s never the same,
It is parents deciding on their newborns name.
It’s a child’s excitement when it’s Christmas eve.
It’s saying good bye but not wanting to leave.
It’s winning and losing, it’s to pass and to fail,
Life’s the feeling inside when your dog wags its’ tail.
It’s losing a loved one, it’s sadness and grief.
It’s about feeling nervous and feeling relief.
Life is about tripping and learning to fall
It’s about a best friend who is there when you call.
Life is confidence and it’s uncertainty
It’s learning to become who you’re meant to be.
Life’s the stories that stay in an old coffee cup
And it’s courage to try and to never give up.
It’s hanging on tightly but then letting go
It is trust in your faith when you truly don’t know.
Life is a gift from God up above,
And so it must be Life surely is LOVE!!