Filling Your Love Tank

I truly believe that human beings all desire and need to feel loved and appreciated.  It’s something we all have in common, regardless of culture, gender or religious beliefs.  Have you noticed this with people in your circle of friends or family members?  Maybe you’ve even noticed within yourself.  It’s a factor that sometimes can go unattended in our busy lifestyle pace we keep, yet it’s really fundamental to healthy and nurturing relationships.

Imagine if you went a week without hearing a single word of appreciation or a compliment.  That would certainly leave the love tank on low, wouldn’t it?  And it’s so easy to have that tank filled by caring, considerate and compassionate people around us.  If you feel your love tank is running low and needs filling up, here are a few suggestions.  First, you can make an agreement with your partner and/or family members to tell each other something positive at least once a day.  That way you’re giving and receiving so everyone benefits.  Look for new and creative things that you appreciate and love about the other person and tell them in an open and genuine way.  Make sure you have eye contact when sharing this expression of love.  This will give them the example to return the gift in kind.  Depending on the type of relationships you have at work, you could find the courage to participate in this compassionate exchange with business associates too.  Don’t forget if you have children, it’s very important to praise them and continue to find things they are doing well and let them know constantly.  This becomes very valuable for their self esteem and self confidence.

Do you find this a challenging thought to ask for positive kind words?  Or perhaps you might live alone without a partner to fill your love tank.  No problem!  It is actaully very healthy to do this for yourself and then any other kind words received from others will be a bonus! You can easily do this for yourself.  One way is to create a list of five things each day that you like or love about yourself.  I find sometimes clients get stuck on this one, so I encourage them to ask loved ones to share what they love and see as your attributes. When you have your list, try focusing only on your positive attributes for a week.  The words have to be different, creative and genuine.  It can’t be something like how you like the colour of your eyes.  Make the list about your qualities and talents.  Another tip is to write yourself a love letter, pretending its from someone who loves you.  Then keep it close by and read it whenever you need that love tank filled.  Again it has to be true and coming from the heart.  What would you love to hear being said to you?  It reminds me of this loving quote from The Buddha: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention.”  So go ahead and give yourself all the love you desire and deserve!

If you don’t get your love tank filled enough from others who might forget to play, you can always use those tips from the previous paragraph above.  We are wonderful precious beings deserving of love, affection and appreciation.  When we are fulfilled in this way, we can blossom like a flower receiving rain and sunshine.  Go ahead and give yourself the gift of filling your love tank while helping others around you to flourish as well.  Do you have any other suggestions on how to fill your love tank?  I’d love to hear about them.

In Joy!



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